


Stars

by Elskari



Category: Apocalyptica
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 23:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2044584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elskari/pseuds/Elskari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Failure and misery would bubble up in his stomach. He would never let it out; he would swallow it down and force it to be quiet. Desperately, he’d ignore the silent screams self-hatred that swelled and merged throughout his entire being, that seemed to get louder and louder with each passing glance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stars

Perttu had freckles. Nearly always, they were coated with thin layers of opaque make-up, but they were there none-the-less; and they were perfect. They were brushed across his cheek-bones and across his nose like a coating of stardust against the flawless night sky. Eicca admired them, as light as they were, and how they spotted little splashes of colour against the otherwise immaculately flawless canvas of his face. That’s what he was - a canvas. When they had made Perttu, they had picked the finest quality of canvas and used the most luxurious and silky oil-paints to fabricate such a superlative being, and for a final touch, had selected the thinnest paint brush to flick tiny drops of paint upon his face wherever they would land.

 

Perttu despised his freckles. He would waste hours of his time lamenting in his head on how they ruined the perfect persona he’d so carefully crafted for himself. They made him look childish. He would stand, shoulders hunched and eyebrows furrowed, in front of the mirror for the longest time, primping and preening himself to flawlessness; wholly disappointed in what he saw. He’d quickly grow frustrated with himself, hating himself for the way he looked. He’d glare disgustedly at every mirror, sometimes even at the translucent image reflected onto plain glass, no matter how long he’d stand in front of it. Failure and misery would bubble up in his stomach. He would never let it out; he would swallow it down and force it to be quiet. Desperately, he’d ignore the silent screams self-hatred that swelled and merged throughout his entire being, that seemed to get louder and louder with each passing glance.

 

The times he spent fixated in front of his seemingly demonic mirror, nearly every time, he’d be forced to omit the somber looks that stood in the doorway, given from one flaxen-haired, despondent man; Eicca. Eicca would pray for the moment in which Perttu would realise perfection he was blessed with. He would give anything for the Adonis to see what he saw. Eicca knew, if he could, he would never, never doubt himself again. With a heavy-heart and a silenced sigh, he would graze a hand across the naked skin of his friend's shoulder and stand beside him. It would be then that the younger’s eyes would flicker from the mirror, down to his feet his where they would stay -- too ashamed to look his elder in the eyes.

 

The blonde would sell his soul to see a smile spread across his soft features; for tiny pricks of happiness to tug at the corners of his thin lips and pull back into a smile, revealing two perfectly straight rows of crystal white teeth. He would hand him a shirt, and leave him with the same three words. ‘Wash it off.’ It’s never a demand. It’s never a question. It was always just done.

 

Minutes later, without fail, a fresh-faced and fully Perttu would trudge down the stairs and stand, hand rested atop the railing as he waited expectantly. The only light that illuminated the room would be the small, dim table light in the far corner and Perttu’s stars would shine a million times brighter. He would stand there, fingers tightening around the banister, finding comfort in the familiar grooves, and he would stand perfectly still for however long it took for Eicca’s arms to open, ready for him to crawl into.

 

If there was only a single thing he wanted more than to be content within himself, to be truly comfortable in his own skin, it would be Eicca. Perttu didn’t care how he would have him, as long as the taller man would simply exist around him, Perttu told himself that he could never really be unhappy. He told himself that, as long as he had those strong and protective arms to wrap him up and hide him away from all the demons that ate away at him from the inside, he would never give up. He told himself that over and over again; until the words echoed in the back of his mind without even thinking about them.

 

“I love you, Eicca.” The black haired male murmured against the skin of his friend’s neck, his hot breath dancing over the silky skin. The words are uttered so quietly and be so muffled into the crook of the blonde’s neck, the younger man thought they went unnoticed, unimportant.

 

However, the older man would always notice, and he always mouthed an even quieter “And I love you, Perttu.”

 

On this particular night, Eicca was struck with an idea. With a smile on his face, he stood, hand open for the black haired man to take. Gently, he pulled him from the sofa and lead him outside into their garden; it was small, they’d never had much use for it.

 

As they stepped outside, they were met with a gentle breeze of fresh, dewy air - air that was crisp and held a sharp chill, but was almost comforting against their heated skin. Perttu allowed his eyes to slide shut for a moment, allowing for all of his troubles to drift away with the breaths he released. Slowly, two warm, strong arms snaked their way around his hips and met each other upon his lower stomach. Moments later, he could feel, soft kisses decorate the back of his neck. Tilting his head to the heavens, Perttu exhaled, deep and slow. The action left a thick, grey mist, such as the material that clings to the edges of your dreams. The vapour seemed to carry Perttu’s darkest and deepest demons from within his very soul and expelled them into the night; as the darkness devoured the wispy cloud, it so devoured every problem that loomed in the young man’s heart.                                                                                     

 

With all of the negativity vanquished from him, there was only a single thing etched into his mind.

 

And that brilliant thing was stood just behind him.

 

Perttu took the linked hands from around his waist and separated them as he turned, sliding his fingers between the gaps of his friend’s; he admired the way they sealed together like interlocking puzzle pieces. Perttu canvassed every last element of Eicca’s being, from the way his taut shirt hugged herculean torso oh-so-perfectly, to the way his eyes, blue, whirlpool eyes, shone intently in the dull moonlight. He hovered so close that Perttu could pick out every single emerald and cerulean fleck that littered the perfect pools of tempting, icicle blue. His eyelashes were sandy and long; each time his eyes would close they would fan out across his cheeks like the rim of a sea shell.

  
  


His fingertips ghosted over the flawless canvas of Eicca’s arms, brushed over the soft fabric of his shirt and then came to meet each other again at the back of his neck; he paused to caress and wind his fingers into the soft hair. Their faces were mere inches apart -- their bodies were pressed together. The taller man’s lips, those soft, rose-bud lips, seemed to be growing closer and closer with each moment that passed. Before he’d even realised it, Perttu allowed his eyes the slip closed, and their foreheads to press together.

 

It was then, in the cold winter’s night, with the crisp night air nipping at the exposed parts of his skin did Perttu finally gather the courage from the deepest parts of his very being to look his friend, his best friend in those gorgeous eyes of his and proclaim those four same words, this time, loud enough for their subject to hear.

 

“I love you, Eicca.”

 

And he loved him more than there were stars in the sky.

  
  
  



End file.
